Cecil Slack's letters: Volume 5

The body of each letter is as transcribed by Lady Joan Slack. In each case the name or initial of the writer is followed by the recipient, the date (where known) and the address from which the letter was sent. For convenience, these have been presented in a common format. CMS is, of course, Cecil Moorhouse Slack.

WHW. to MJW; 5th. April 1916. 7.30 pm.

My dear Jennie,

I met Donald Alldridge a few minutes after landing and he said he would send Joe Ward to me at the Hotel where we had some lunch and near the end of our lunch (Capt. Hall and I ) Joe Ward walked in and was exceedingly glad to see me, he could only stay a few minutes as he had to go back on duty but I went round and saw Alldridge who is his boss and begged him off for the day or rather what remained of it (3.30) pm.)

We wandered round the quaint old fishing town then had tea at a Patisserie and then went to a cinema and after did more wandering and bought you a curious picture post card at the shop of an old French woman with a very long beard. I hope you received it all right. We then dined very happily at a nice French Cafe and a bottle of white wine and waxed very merry and jocose. Joe left us at 9.15 pm. as he had to walk two miles away to sleep. We, Hall and I then went to the Officers' Club and read and smoked until 10.30 pm. when we had to report at the Railway Station and then we had to remain in a 1st. class Ry. Carriage as comfy as we could until 4 am. at which hour the train started, there were three of us in the compartment Hall and I and a Medical Officer who was quite nice and cheery.

We got out of the train to change at a wayside station at 8.15 am. and had 30 minutes for breakfast we had roll butter, omlette and café-au lait (2F.50), very dear. Arrived at our destination (by train) at 12 noon and then by motor car to where I am writing this letter at about 1.30 pm.

I am in company with five other regular R.E. Officers, very nice men, quite superior and have been out in the back trenches all afternoon. Several shells called "pip squeaks" have whistled over our heads and burst behind us. Our billet is comparatively a good one that is to say there are only two shell holes through the front wall of the house and one chimney half knocked away.

The village we are in is a mass of ruined houses, there is only one woman here and her house is untouched. She is about 65 years of age and walks about as unconcerned as possible. I have watched the aeroplanes right overhead and the "Archies" bursting all around them it is quite a beautiful sight you forget all about the wickedness of it. I have been in one of the German trenches we captured a little while ago and they are wonderfully constructed for their safety for Fritz and they are wily these HUNS.

It is beautiful weather, the larks are singing and hares running about whilst shells are bursting around and overhead and neither animals, birds or men seem to worry. I am just going out to look at the star shells; it is a fine firework display by Fritz gratis, they light up all around with a beautiful effect. I have only seen three men today carried past me on stretchers, lying very still with a blanket over them.

I am going to turn in soon as they awake me again at 2 am. to go out to the front line trenches with the O.C. of the Field Co. I am told that several large rats will visit me in bed to-night.

I must finish now, I am really most interested with the whole thing, one gets a totally different set of feelings out here about everything.

Much love

Daddy.

CMS to WHS and WS; 6/4/16

My Dear Father and Mother,

I made a slight miscalculation over the date of my leave, and expected to be home earlier than I said. All being well you will be seeing me in about a fortnight.

We are out of the trenches at present and may not go in again before our month's rest. There is a chance of one more tour however. There are only two officers again in our company, Ingleby and myself the others being sick. We had one killed yesterday morning.

We are billeted in a farm house close to the line and are very comfortable. There is a glorious wood fire on my right. The supply of eggs seems to be unlimited. We had poached ones for tea tonight. We have been heavily shelled recently, both in the trenches and here. We lost one officer and 4 men killed and 3 men wounded. This morning we had a dose of gas tear-shells. The shells are dropping round the farm whilst I write, uncomfortably near.

The day before yesterday I was hit on the helmet 3 times, one of which would certainly have killed me but for the steel protection. It was a similar shrapnel bullet to that which got me in the shoulder just about a year ago, it came with an awful welt right on the back of my head. A few inches lower would have got my neck, and I should not have come home on leave. Another was a nasty jagged piece of shell which dropped right on top. It might have only made a nasty wound. I have it in my pocket now. The third one was small and glancing and would not have done much harm. This is the first time I have worn a helmet. It will not be the last. Practically everyone has one now. A piece hit Ingleby's a few minutes ago. I am fed up with shell fire.

I received a parcel a day or two ago but there were no socks in it from Mrs. Taylor. Have you sent them yet? Please do not send any more socks after Mrs. T's as the weather has finally changed for better. We have had some glorious days lately, sometimes warm enough for shirtsleeves.

Everything, of course, is beginning to sprout, and several trees are in blossom. The mud is turning to dust, which is a most welcome change. The parcel from Thirkell and Robertson has come but I have not seen it yet, as I have been in the line for nearly a fortnight. I will be acknowledging them in the course of a day or two.

Love to all,

Your affec. son,

Cecil.

Dora to CMS; Monday 10.4.16.

Dear Cecil,

Thank you very much for the Ypres glass that you sent us - we are putting it with our collection of things that we are getting. I hope your rissoles are getting on well - rather a nibby idea of yours to practice war economy out at the front. Florence generally does the rissoles in our house - she always manages to get that kind of job also pearing apples, picking gooseberries - horribly boring - so she says she will tell you the secret altho' I expect your Ma's is much better. I should give your cook 7 days C.B. if he didn't wash his hands first.

Pater went off to the front quite suddenly last Sunday and we are expecting him home again to-day. I believe he went to gain experience for training the men and to see some of the Hun's trenches and engineering work. He wrote and told us he had come across Joe Ward (a master at Hymers) and Donald Alldridge both of the R.G.A. - I believe they were in Boulogne by what we could gather from Pater's letter. I don't know whereabouts he has been - perhaps you may have seen him - he says he is fearfully interested in everything.

We have all been to Hull meanwhile and had a very Zeppy time - I expect you have heard all about Wednesday night when the Zepp came and we had guns and searchlights on it. It really was a gorgeous sight and we wouldn't have missed it for anything - we had a beautiful view from Newland. Reggie Gaskell was home on leave at the time and he said the shots at it were wretched but we saw one burst just below it and Major Hall thinks he has hit it. Reggie is having a great time flying - he dropped a bomb on one of those German observation sausages not long ago and he saw it squash out flat and the Old Hun would be under it.

It was awfully jolly being in Hull again - we were there from Monday till Friday and saw heaps of people altho' Ma took us home to garden. Kathleen Watt is working at her father's office now - heaps of girls are doing that now. Kathleen Runton works at the Union of London and Smith's Bank in fact everyone does something in Hull nowadays. Florence is very seriously thinking of going on the land - a kind of farm pupil I think - she has written for particulars from some National Political League or other. I want to get into a hoppy but the trouble is getting to know of a decent one - however I am hoping for something to turn up before very long. The people in Silkstone and roundabout here are fearfully slack - they are all rolling in money from munitions and coal.

We heard from the Sowerbutts the other day and Betty and Billy are to be married at Wrexham on Wednesday 26 April - that is just a fortnight tomorrow. It seems ages since they were engaged that it seems hardly real that they are going to be married at last.

Tuesday. I felt beastly stale yesterday so I thought it wouldn't be quite so hard on you if I left off until to-day. Florence, being the eldest daughter of the house, wow-wow, has gone with Ma to return a call on a married sister of the First Sea Lord - rather big pots around here, but live in a comparatively small house because they hate a big one, altho' they are millionaires or something. We are so glad you are getting some leave - I hope this weather lasts - we shall be delighted to see you any time if you can find time to come over and see us - just send a wire. You might manage to be at Betty's wedding yet - I'm sure it would be a jolly surprise for them if you hopped over.

Pater arrived home quite safely last night - He was with a company of engineers of the 1st Army Corps at ............ Pater says I haven't to put where - he has had a great time and wore a steel helmet on his poor old bald head - he was shown round by a very little man who hadn't to bend much and of course got along pretty quickly in the trenches, while Pa had to bend further - he said he felt jolly stiff the next day. By the way, I've learnt what a salient is, my poor old feeble mind didn't know before. People here say they have tennis by the end of April so I expect they will be starting soon. We only have a patch of lawn big enough to skip on but the people opposite have a court but I don't think the girl has much vim. The vicar has lent his court to the officers and their people so I think that will be our only chance of playing this summer if we are here. I can't decide now whether to take up farming like Florence or go in a hoppy - awful problem isn't it!

There are some picric acid and lyddite works here and they want clerks and office girls or something but it is such an awful place - you get gassed every now and again with the fumes and one perpetually looks like a canary with the colour of the powder - so I'm not keen on that. Some very wealthy people here have a topping little boating lake but the dame is so very fat that it would be rather a job for her to get in a boat. It does seem a waste - it would be fine for bathing too - Florence and I walk past it very enviously.

We have just heard that Lady Mabe Smith is working on the land so of course Lady Florence Willatt must go.

Sister and I are going to stay with some cousins in Nottingham for the Easter weekend - it will be great excitement for us - we are getting awfully fed up with these stolid people round here.

I saw Hilda and Mabel at the station just as they came in from Colwyn on Friday - I expect they will be talking Penrhos hard at home for a few days.

Post just hopping out - goodbye.

Love from all

Dora.

CMS to WHS and WS; 15.4.16.

My Dear Father and Mother,

We are having another tour in the trenches, commencing tonight. I think it will be a quiet do. I shall not be home as soon as I expected owing to leave being posponed. However it will be better weather when I do come.

Capt Willatt has been out here having a look at the trenches etc. I did not see him, as he was, I think, more to the south.

We have not been in the recent fighting but have had some of the sidewash.

We have been billeted for several days with the village priest, and have had quite a good time. A comfortable bed at night, a full night's rest, and plenty of eggs.

Five more officers came to us yesterday, two of them being captains and one a major: one of the captains has been put in our company thereby knocking me out of the position of 2nd. in command. The same thing has happened to others. It is unavoidable but seems a bit hard seeing that both the two captains have not been out before. But its red tape and we can't help it. Our company which was the worst is now acknowledged by the C.O. to be the best.

I have received a parcel containing a cake, candles, socks and matches. The parcel of pastry and the one containing Mrs. Taylor's socks have not arrived.

I have received some socks from Miss Scurr from a sunshine band or something, which I have thanked her for.

I don't think leave is stopped for long, so I may get home for the holidays.

Love to all,

Your affec. son,

Cecil.

CMS to Bob; 19/4/16

Dear Bob,

You must have had quite an exciting time the night of the Zepp raid, especially if a couple of bombs were dropped. I think the bombs used are "60 lbs". Some of our trench mortars fire some of that weight, and make a frightful mess of things when they burst.

They are about the size of a football, and it is great fun watching them go over to the Hun. They are sent up into the air about three or four hundred yards before dropping onto the Hun. They have a similar thing which they fire at us, It is a large shell 2 feet long with a diameter of 7 inches.

Another thing they have is a pear-shaped fish-tailed bomb. One of these dropped 10 yards from me yesterday, but as it fell in a hole, all was well.

After our present tour in the trenches we shall be having our "rest" which we have been expecting for some time. I don't know when leave will start again - anything from four days to four months.

Is that idea of the paraffin tank your own or did you get it from a paper? I hope you have a good time in the lakes and have better weather than we've been having for the last few days.

21/4/16

There was a rumour about yesterday that leave was starting again in a week's time. Last night we had quite an exciting little scare. We had during the day been warned to be particularly alert at night. In the early part of the night before the moon rose, a whistle went round the Hun line, which was from 30 to 40 yds. away. This combined with the fact that our own guns had been ordered to stand by made us expectant. The signal went again, followed shortly by a signal light. I was on duty in a detached part of the trench and fairly got the wind up. We awaited the Hun eagerly for some time but nothing had happened by the time the moon rose, and the night eventually passed peacefully.

I took another life the other night - a rat's this time. It is great sport ratting with a good knobbed stick and is good training for the eye. The rats here are as big as "tigers". A couple of nights ago I found one of my pipes half way up the dugout wall, caught in some wire. It had been nibbled and then removed from the table by one rat who lives just near the head of my bunk. Another night he cleared off with more than half one of the slabs of Laisers chocolate which Mother sends me. He left me the silver paper only. A candle also went. There is another one who lives near the foot of my bunk. This one practises the long jump over my legs, and trains for the 100 yards up and down my body. Since I have stopped up his hole he has ceased to bother me.

Your affec. brother

Cecil.

CMS to Dora; 25/4/16.

Dear Dora,

I am feeling awfully bucked at present as I have seen the last of the trenches for about four weeks. It is moreover a perfect day and we are living at the foot of a topping little wood which has little streams running down from the hill top. Consequently I feel like a young lamb.

Leave has been stopped for over a week now, for some unknown reason, so I shan't be home as soon as I hoped. If all had gone well I should be leaving here tomorrow. However I am due for mine 12 days after recommencement of leave and it will be better weather then, so I don't mind very much.

I should have liked to have seen your Pater very much, but I think he was a good deal south of where we are.

Those steel helmets are awfully good things and are quite comfortable when one gets used to them. During one small bombardment that we had in our trench, mine was hit by bits of shell three times. One got me fair and square on the back of the head just above my neck and but for the helmet I should now be pushing daisies up. During this bombardment one shell fell into a dugout in which were four men; three were blown into small pieces and the fourth only had his forehead scratched.

The Hun has been throwing a lot of trench-mortar bombs at us lately. Some of these are enormous things over two feet long and six and half inches in diameter. When they burst they make a hole as big as your dining room at Newlands. They are much worse than the "sausuages" which they also send. They also have a nasty little fish-tailed bomb which you can't always see coming. Four of these dropped six yards from me, one after another at about 30 second intervals. Fortunately we saw them coming and were able to get cover; it's rather a matter of luck when they come as near as that. In retaliation for one of these affairs our howitzers opened fire on a part of the Hun trench which was only 30 yards in front of a part of ours which stuck out a bit. Some wonderful shooting was done, several direct hits on their trench being obtained. One shell burst a gas cylinder. I couldn't make out what had happened at first as I knew the wind wasn't quite right for gas. We got quite a nasty dose before we realized what was wrong and put our helmets on. It soon blew off, and the Hun got more of it than we did. I smelt of the stuff for hours afterwards.

I should liked to have been at the wedding of Billy Keble and Betty Sowerbutts. They've been engaged an awfully long time and I'm delighted they've at last been able to manage it. If the weather is anything like it is here today they'll have a glorious honeymoon. I hope you and Flossie have similar weather for your week-end in Nottingham.

You must have had a ripping time when the Zepp came over and was fired at. I wish I could have seen it.

There was a beautiful little aeroplane fight here on Easter Sunday. The Hun was brought down and the observer killed. He was killed before he landed, of course.

Bob has been making various alterations and "improvements" in the motor bike and was going to enter for some public school race in the Easter holidays. However he's changed his mind and is now at the lakes with some of his school pals. I believe he is some nut now that he is a prefect.

Hoping to see you all soon when on leave,

Yours sincerely,

Cecil

CMS to WHS and WS; 27/4/16.

My dear Father and Mother,

We are now out of the trenches, and have commenced our longed-for rest. We are well behind the lines, and in good billets at various farms. Our time will be taken up by training.

Leave has been started again. I'm afraid I shan't be home in time to see everyone before school starts again, but I shall of course go over to see Hilda and Mabel and Norman.

The weather is beautiful now, and yesterday I only had a shirt on underneath my tunic.

During our last tour in the line we had plenty of excitement owing to the minnenwerfer bombs and other bombs of various sizes. At one time our howitzers fired at part of the line only 30 yards in front of us. It was rather risky work, but the shooting was excellent and there were several direct hits, one of which broke a gas cylinder. The gas was on us before we knew what had happened. I thought at first it was the beginning of an attack. It passed off soon after we had put our helmets on. The wind was not right for it to stay long. It made several men sick, and 15 of them were relieved from duty that night. I smelt of the stuff for hours and it seemed just as though I had bronchitis although I had not been breathing it for more than 30 seconds. During one of the bomb bombardments four "fish" tails fell within 4 yards of me, but no-one was hit, as we had time to take cover.

Thank you very much Father for what you say about allowance. It is awfully good of you. I have no doubt Bob will be having a good time in the Lakes. My last tour there was two or three years ago when Tom and I spent a fortnight there. I shall always remember one day we had there in which we were 13 hours without food and carried our bikes four or five miles over the mountains.

It is very interesting about Whittick's cousin. I have heard from another source that there has been trouble about Whittick himself and that he refuses to join the forces. The reported heavy casualties in the East Yorks probably means the 7th Br. and the 4th Br. Nearly all our casualties have been in our company.

We had 3 men blown to bits by a shell bursting in a dugout, a fourth died of wounds, and a fifth who was also in the dugout only had his forehead scratched. Another time a direct hit on the parapet blew off the heads of three, and wounded five, one of whom has since died.

I am sorry you did not get a decent holiday at Easter for I'm sure you need one. Thank you for the last parcel containing salmon, cake, etc.

I have written to Mrs. Taylor thanking her for the socks, I have also had parcels from Mrs. Brealy and Mrs. Willatt and Flossie and Dora. I have been put in charge of the football etc. whilst we are here.

Will you please send my football things out at the earliest opportunity, and will you please have my tennis racket re-strung so that I can use it when I come on leave shortly.

Love to all,

Your affec. son,

Cecil

FW to CMS; May 1st. 1916

Dear Cecil,

I now take up my typewriter hoping it finds you as well as it leaves me at present. We are glad to hear you are going to have some leave soon. I hope if we are not in Hull you will be able to come over to see us, we should love to show you the beauties of Silkstone, it really is delightful here now. This is only the second timexxxxxx I have used a typewriter in my life, rather good, what?

My instructor is rather weary now, he sends his love and kisses.

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Father has just ordered me to go home so now I will close and hope to write a proper letter soon. Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours respectfully,

Florence Willatt

P.S. An early reply will oblige.

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Note: The strange sequences of characters above are copied from Florence's original letter, written on a manual typewriter.

CMS to Bob; 12/5/16

Dear Bob,

Many thanks for the two magazines received today. We have a good deal more time to read them now that we are resting.

I hope the puppy is well. I had thought of bringing one home on the 25th inst. but as you already have one and I have a number of other souvenirs I won't bother. I should have been coming on the 17th., but a six day course of scouting and Intelligence has knocked me out for then and the 21st. owing to the course starting on the 16th. I don't want to miss the course and if I did it wouldn't make any difference.

For the last few days I have been endeavouring to make my scouts and snipers understand a map and how to find out whereabouts they are on it when lost, by means of a compass and protractor, etc. I start another class tomorrow.

I am going to try to work an extra day's leave when I come, by applying for a warrant to Colwyn Bay. Anywhere north of York or Crewe entitles one to this, and as I shall go to see Hilda and Mabel in any case it will be quite fair. This will make a ten day's leave, inclusive of travelling days. It might be prolonged to 12 days. There are horrible rumours about that leave will be stopped towards the end of the month but I think I shall get across in time.

I have been initiating Madame of our farm into the mysteries of a cheque by which I am paying our mess bill. It was arduous work, but I managed it.

The original officers and men of the battalion are going through another inoculation process, so there has been little doing for the last few days.

I was trying to get the hens tight on whisky soaked into bread last night, and although one of the cocks got outside about a tablespoonful, it didn't work.

One thing about being here is that one sees a real live train. Two of us went for a ride on one once to Hazebrouck. The ticket collector person seemed to want a ticket when we were going out of the station but we just looked important and said we hadn't got any and walked through.

We spent our time in Hazebrouck by having afternoon teas and buying pipe-cleaners.

Do you know if my tennis racket is being restrung? There are a lot of old Hymerians out here now both in our battalion and other units. Helmsing came yesterday and is in our company.

Please thank Mother for the last parcel, containing cake, etc.

Your affec. brother,

Cecil.

CMS to WHS and WS; 17.5.16.

My dear Father and Mother,

Had I chosen, I could now be in the train between London and Hull, commencing my 10 days' leave. As it is I am at a farm together with 5 more officers and a number of men all of whom came here expecting to undergo a course of instruction in scout work etc. It appears however that we get one lecture per day and the rest of the time is spent in training our own men in things which we ourselves came here to learn more of. However we are making use of the books, etc. which are here, and shall probably be a good deal better off at the end of the "course" than now.

We are all subalterns, and are entirely on our own to do what we like with our men. We can fix our own time-table. I was given the chance of coming here, or going on leave, and I naturally did not want to miss the course, so here I am. I return to the battalion on the 22nd. and hope, and expect, to start my leave on the 25th. So in all probability I will be rolling up at Wilton House about 10.30 pm. on that date. I shall get more rest here than with the battalion, as I have handed over the Mess Presidency and the working of the battalion football, neither of them being jobs without worry, especially the latter. The C.O. was very pleased with the way the football was being carried on. Everything was running in oil when I handed over, and it should be an easy job to keep it so. It is a relief, however, to be free from it. I have also just missed the organization of the battalion sports.

I am going to have a good time here. We shall do a just amount of work, not too little, not too much. I was lucky in getting here first, and securing the best places for my men and myself. My servant, who worked in the box shop at Reckitt's, has become quite intelligent, and looks after me excellently now. I have a small room and a bed all to myself, whereas I have been sleeping on a brick floor with only a blanket between me and it, at our company's farm.

Thank you for the last parcel, containing peppermints etc. and also for my football clothes. Barnett will be glad to be out at last. He has had a long monotonous time in England. I wonder if I shall come across him.

There are various rumours about what we shall do at the end of our rest, none of which are to be believed for one minute; they are (1) We shall return to England to guard same against the invasion. (2) We shall work for 3 months on a railway, (3) We shall go on the lines of communication, and (4) We shall go to Egypt. Evidence for the last is that a supply of pith helmets has come for us, and one camel per battalion, also a box of mosquitoes. Our Division however is too good to be spared from the line.

I will let you know about leave later, either by letter, telegram, or personally.

Love to all,

Your affec. son,

Cecil.

CMS to WHS and WS; 24/5/16

My dear Father and Mother,

I shall not be home on the 25th. as you will have found out by the time this reaches you, but I hope to be about 10 days later.

I got as far as giving in my destination to the Orderly Room yesterday afternoon. I again have the chance of coming home on leave if I wish to, tomorrow, but I think you will understand why I am postponing it, when I explain.

A little "matter" will shortly take place. It has fallen to our battalion to have the honour of doing the work. The Colonel wants me to take the job on, and has asked me if I would postpone my leave on account of it. What the job is and when and where and how it will take place I will tell you later. I absolutely couldn't come home now on any account.

The affair will be one I shall revel in, and will not be dangerous. I should love to tell you what it is, but it will improve with keeping. If it comes off it will be rather an honour for the battalion.

I am glad Bob managed to get a place in the Sports. I can quite imagine Harold coming home hatless, collarless etc. The Regimental Sports were held the other day.

Love to all, Cecil.

Dora to CMS; Wednesday 7.6.1916.

My dear Cecil,

I have come into that little wood and am sitting under a tree only about 10 yards from where we sat down together and you asked me to marry you. I couldn't write in the house - I feel as if I were nearer you if I come away from everybody and am absolutely by myself. It was a very great surprise and even a shock when you told me you loved me and I had not the slightest idea you were going to tell me so then. I am going to tell you the ABSOLUTE TRUTH and just write down as I think - I mean as thoughts come into my head and when you write back to me I want you to do exactly the same - DON'T KEEP BACK ANYTHING whatever your thoughts may be about me. You must forgive me if this letter gets rather disjointed.

You may have thought I was cheerful after I came down to dinner on Monday night - but I was NOT - far from it - it took me all my time to try to be cheerful and jolly with the others - Cecil, I would give anything to have you here with me now so that I could talk to you - I did not get to sleep until 6 o'clock on Tuesday morning - I was thinking all the time - I felt I should like to write to you yesterday but have put it off till today so that I should feel more myself again and surer about what I am writing.

I must say that I have thought of you as my best boy friend and it is not because I have known you practically as long as I can remember - it is for yourself - Betty Sowerbutts did tell me at Penrhos - I think it was your last term there - that you were keen on me but I'm afraid at the time I didn't think anything about you - when I left school I liked you just as I liked my other friends and it was not until after you were wounded last year and you came to our house a good deal for tennis that I liked you more than the others who came. You will notice that I am saying "liking" - I had never thought whether I loved you or not - I knew you liked me, somehow, but I had not thought of it so much, that it has been so hard to see if my "liking" for you had turned into love for you. I remember dreaming, one night since we came here, that you were married to another girl and remember waking up with a miserable, hopeless feeling. I have looked forward to getting your letters more than anyone else's I have ever received; on the night of Feb 9th I remember I felt you were very near to me and I longed for a letter from you - five days later I remember I got one from you dated the 9th. and posted on the 10th.

Before I say any more I want you to think whether you yourself are quite sure you love me and that when you asked me to marry you, you were not influenced by any excitement of the moment - you had not seen me for some time or because you were just going away. I think sometimes I ought not to have left the other two and I must have led you away - you would not have asked me if we had kept with the others. If I have brought you away from the other two - Flossie and Marjorie - it was unintentional - I enjoyed talking with you - I had not the slightest intention to be forward with you or with anyone else in the world. If it is the case, Cecil, we will not mention it ever again and we will just be chums once more - before you read any further be quite, quite sure - or was it because that Grindell man has been talking to you and me and you wanted to fix things up because of that - I do not know him not even by sight neither do I know any of your officer friends except by name - except Westrope - thinking of him - it is not very nice for the girl he eventually becomes engaged to, to think that he has had three or four others before her that he has had a flirt with. I have NEVER flirted with anyone and I don't think you have either, have you; I have always vowed I would never "carry on" or flirt with anyone except the man I should marry so that I could have an absolutely clear conscience - have you ever thought like that? I am awfully sorry the others have been teasing you.

Have you yourself quite made up your mind about me - have you thought everything over and what it all means - think very carefully indeed - you will see me every morning first - last thing every night - same face behind the coffee-pot every breakfast - same face behind the tea-pot every teatime - when you holiday you would holiday with me - think of it - and then think if you had got the WRONG girl how awful it would be - it would be tragic - nothing is so awful as domestic unhappiness and quarrelling. My ideal man and woman are those who give themselves wholeheartedly to each other with all their love and who help each other to go close together through life. Cecil DO think it over well - we are still very young and you seem young to want to be engaged - although I'm glad you're older than I am. You know you haven't met so many girls and I am one of the VERY few girls you know thoroughly.

Don't please think it foolish of me telling you all this but you have been in my thoughts constantly since you went. I was VERY unhappy during the night on Monday - in fact I cried - I do not often cry Cecil - rarely - I'm afraid I was not very nice with you, when I think it over, but I felt stupified and I think you felt I didn't care a rap for you beyond being a bit chummy and jolly with you like I feel with everybody else. When I got to bed I overheard Father tell Mother that your "affair" you are going to do out there was jolly risky - I began to think and then I realised if you never came back and I never saw you again - what I should do and what I should feel like - it is horrible of me to talk like this but I am telling you all - it made me realise that I do love you Cecil - oh that I could see you again now - but I cannot tell if I love you as much as you love me - how much do you love me Cecil? It is awfully hard to tell when one has not been thinking about it long.

I should like to get to know you, YOURSELF better and then at the end of six months if I am quite sure of my own mind and I have that sacred love for you that only man and woman can have I would promise definitely to become your wife - until then let us have an understanding between each other and write to each other and keep nothing back and hiding nothing. I want you to put "yourself" for "I" in the last sentence as well. If at any time you or I meet someone that we should like better I shall not hesitate to tell you and you must promise that you will tell me - of course if we were to get married we should know our own minds whoever we came in contact with, and be true - absolutely true - I swear I would Cecil - as long as we both lived.

I promised you I would tell no one but before I went to bed Mother asked me if anything had happened between us as she suspected something by the look on our faces as soon as we came in - I said nothing was the matter at first and she persisted that there was, as you were quieter and different so I had to tell her but just told her that nothing was decided. I always tell Mother everything, usually, but I have never spoken of you in anyway but a friendly way until Monday night but I only just told her bare facts - I know I promised to tell no one and you did too. Mother is quite pleased if we both know our own minds but I said again that nothing was definitely fixed. Father does not know nor another soul - it is a question for you and me to decide alone.

Flossie and I go to Skegness for Whitsuntide - to stay with Queenie and Frank Willatt - Pa's cousins. Frank is 38 and Queenie just 30 and she is a very great friend of mine - I should like to tell her about you very much - she and Frank were at our play before the war - she is very genuine and possesses a great amount of common-sense - she has been married 7½ years and they are both very happy indeed. They live in Nottingham but have taken a house in Skegness for June for the kiddies - the youngest of the three is called Dora - I think I told you. Shall you mind if I tell her - if you feel you would like to tell anyone let me know.

I do want you to be careful when your little "affair" comes off next week - you did not tell your Mother or she would have been anxious I know. Will you try to remember to take care of yourself - you are very brave Cecil to be so cheerful over it - I simply couldn't do it or stand it out in the front - I must be a coward - Don't do anything rash, please and write to me BEFORE it comes off - our address will be Hill Crest, St. Andrew's Drive, Skegness, Lincs. I shall be there until a week on Friday the 16th, I think, after that I shall be c/o John Barker Esq. The Mount, Bargate Avenue, Grimsby, staying with Marjorie for the weekend.

If you think differently from what you told me on Mon. DO be sure and tell me and we will carry on as before and be chums and I will be just the same to you.

Father said I looked pale to-day and I ought not to go into hospital - I think I shall go in the end - it would do me good to get away with fresh people - I wish I could get to France - perhaps then I could see you occasionally - I seem to be doing nothing for the war and it worries me awfully.

Goodbye Cecil, and remember I have some love for you.

Dora.

I shall not tell Queenie until I have heard from you.

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